The celebrated Sound of Music recently came to Cape Town. I’ve watched it umpteen times, but couldn’t resist going once more to be swept up in the magical music and storyline.

My Dad claims the first time he fell in love was when he watched Julie Andrews playing the lead role of Maria. I still have a sneaky suspicion that my second name was given in honour of this remarkable leading lady. As I sat in the audience, intoxicated by every familiar tune and doing my best not to belt out “the hills are alive!”,I felt very happy to think of myself as Maria’s namesake. As a young girl I had wanted so badly to sing like her and even haul around my very own guitar. I wanted to be the heroine.

Yet often I lack the confidence. I remain sitting in the wings. Watching. Wishing I was the heroine of the story. It’s a familiar trap we women fall into. We become absorbed with the stories of those around us and in the process forget that we too have a story and this story demands that we play the lead role. We are meant to be the ‘Maria’ of our own story. So why do we lack the courage to take on that role?

My favourite moment is when Maria bravely steps out as the heroine of the story. It happens when she first leaves the safety of the abbey and sets off to the Von Trapp villa as a novice governess. (This is the part where she merrily hauls that guitar around) Part of the reason we love Maria so much is because she's so human , and although she doubts herself, she doesn’t allow her fears to hold her back.

As she sings she gains her courage and by the end of the song she confidently raises the roof with “ I have confidence in me!” I know singing a tune isn’t going to cut it. For most of us confidence is a lot more elusive. It’s often lies hidden beneath layers of past pains, silently suffocated by slip-ups or harsh words. But whatever it takes, we need to unearth it. 

Each one of us has a story of our own and it demands that we find the confidence to step out of the wings and into the lead role. We are the heroine of our own story and we must choose the direction in which it will go.

I walked out of the theatre into the dark night – my heart felt full and swollen with an indescribable joy. Now I could freely sing the words out loud. In the quietness they seemed to echo and come right back at me… “Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries / I must dream of the things I am seeking / I am seeking the courage I lack”